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Why God doesn't grant me Superpowers
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 We all know Uncle Ben's greatest advice to young Peter Parker: "With great power comes great responsibility." I've always thought of myself as a very moral person. I liken myself to Hiro Nakamura, an otaku with a heart of gold, trying to be like the heroes I've grown up reading. Like Hiro, I'm pretty sure if I had "great power" I would use it for good.
So if I'm such a goody-goody kid, why won't God grant me powers to help save the world? Well, a few things come to mind, most of which dealing with my short temper and raging hormones. I've come up with a list of superpowers I'd like to have, and the reason why I probably don't deserve them.
Harry Potter: Magic
Sure, I'll probably start my own order to fight Lord Voldemort but the only real spell I'll ever learn is "Brassiereus Disintengratia."
Magneto: Master of Magnetism
In a severe case of road rage, I would have flung half the cars on EDSA into the Pasig River.
Star Wars: The Force
With my greed, I will surely become a Sith Lord, but instead of plotting to take over the Galactic Republic, I'll probably be too preoccupied using the Jedi Mind Trick to get free meals and getting Supermodels to sleep with me. Hey, it only works on the weak-minded. (Ba-da-bum-psh!)
Fullmetal Alchemist: Human Transmutation
In a heated debate, I would have transmuted my opponent's mouth with his asshole within the first few minutes.
Superman: Super Everything
The obvious thing for any guy with Superman's powers is to look through women's clothing with his X-ray vision. But for the sake of creativity, I would probably fly illegally parked cars on top of buildings or maybe flip them over just to piss off the drivers.
Spider-man: Does Everything a Spider Can
Two words: ultimate paparazzo. Who cares about taking pics of myself fighting crime? The real money is getting the juiciest shots of those crazy celebrities!
Death Note: The Power to Kill Anyone
I would probably be the most unfair Grim Reaper out there. That guy that got the girl I like? Death by hamster bites. Corrupt Political Family? One way trip to the Bermuda Triangle. That girl who turned me down and humiliated me? Death by contaminated tampon. Kris Aquino and Ruffa Gutierrez? That's easy. Death by every STD known to man.
Hiro Nakamura: Time & Space Manipulation
You heard of the insult, "fuck you and your ancestors?" It can happen.
That's all I can think of at the moment. What about you? What superpower would you most likely abuse?
[Image taken from: http://amtog.blogs.ie/2007/04/17/]Labels: Fun Stuff, Geek Stuff, Life |
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 Name: Jin
Occupation:
Graphic Artist/Pirate
Geek Toys:
20" iMac Core Duo, PSP, iPod (3G), EOS350D
Special Attack(s):
La Serpiente Strike
El Gato Fist
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Being the mindless drone of fashion that I am, I decided to jump on the Blogging bandwagon. This site contains all my rants and raves about current events, technology, video gaming, cinema and the occasional snippets of my own geek life. (Yeah, quite original, I know.)
Best viewed at 1024x768 on Firefox or Safari. Internet Explorer 6 sucks donkey dick.
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© 2006. All rights reserved.
Illustrations and Character Designs: Jin.
The Sims. © 2006. Electronic Arts, Inc.
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